By Tamar Caspi
First Edition, Winter 2014
280 pages, 6″ x 9″
Price: $17.00 USD
ebook ISBN: 9781580055017
Have you been single longer than the Jews wandered the desert?
Or are you newly single and hoping to hook up with a hot MOT*?
Either way, Tamar Caspi is on a mission to help you find your Chosen One… and who better to do that than the advice columnist from the massively popular dating site JDate.com?
In How to Woo a Jew, your very own Jewish Carrie Bradshaw takes you through each facet of the dating world—from traditional Jewish matchmaking and mixers to modern online dating portals, from honing your Jewdar to kosher sex. Whatever mishegas you’ve made of your love life, Caspi has words of wisdom—and a few enlightening quizzes, charts, and illustrations—to help you find your Jewish soul mate.
*Member of the Tribe
Tamar Caspi has a syndicated Jewish dating advice column that has been published in various magazines and newspapers around the world since 2008. Her writing has appeared in publications like The Jerusalem Post, The New York Post, The Jewish Advocate, The San Diego Jewish Journal, and more. Caspi has a background in news, TV, radio, and marketing with a Bachelor of Arts in Women’s Studies from UCLA.
As an advice columnist for JDate, she has a blog that is updated three times a week. Aside from writing her own pieces, she also receives weekly questions directly from JDate members looking for advice.
She lives with her family in San Diego, CA.
Photo of Tamar Caspi © tracy renee photography.
From Chapter One: Single But Not Quite Ready to Mingle
Here are a few hypothetical situations in which to imagine yourself in order to figure out how ready you are for a relationship. There is no right or wrong answer; this is how you feel right now, and in a few months you may answer the questions differently:
You meet someone, and you mutually experience attraction as well as intense feelings. How quickly would you be able to stop seeing other people and commit to a monogamous relationship?
After getting dumped, do you spend the next month moping around or do you put your big-kid undies on and get back out there?
Do you look at loving couples with envy or pity in your eyes?
Are you willing to dedicate both your Friday and Saturday nights to quality dates rather than partying with your friends?
Do you think $35 a month for an online dating subscription is a great investment or a waste of money?
Would you be willing to change anything about yourself for the sake of a relationship?
Are you scared of marriage or excited by the prospect of meeting your forever partner?
Do you need a partner, or do you want a partner?
Whose relationship would you emulate? Your parents’? Your friend’s parents’? Your sibling’s in-laws’?
How do you feel about children? Would you marry someone with children? What parenting philosophy do you believe in?
Once you have figured out what kind of relationship you’re looking for, what you’re willing to do for said relationship, and who you want to be in a relationship, you then need to figure out what kind of person you are looking for. In order to do that, you first need to realistically quantify what exactly you are bringing to the table in a relationship. This is difficult, I know. Don’t focus on the looks department because pretty or ugly, skinny or fat, tall or short, and so on are not what relationships are built upon. Your thought process needs to also include kindness, humor, education and career aspirations, manners, family, friends, hobbies, and especially overall attitude and self-confidence. So how does someone subjectively quantify themselves?
According to The Beauty Prescription, co-written by Debra Luftman, MD, a Beverly Hills dermatologist, and Eva Ritvo, MD, a South Beach psychiatrist, others see you as 20 percent more attractive than you see yourself because when you look in the mirror, all you see is your reflection, while others see your personality and inner beauty when they look at you. So now that you know others perceive you as more attractive than you perceive yourself, you should be able to have more confidence. Self esteem plays a huge role in dating, and by having some introspection, you will also be able to figure out what you may need to work on in order to be a higher-quality dating prospect. Whether it’s gaining the confidence to go after a promotion at work, or working out more often instead of constantly moaning about how out of shape you are, or getting a makeover (either physical or mental . . . or both), these are things you’ve probably needed to do for yourself for a long time. Do not feel bad about yourself after looking in the theoretical mirror; rather, use this self-reflection to help you see where you shine and where you need to get out the polishing kit and do a little buffing.
How to Woo a Jew takes the oy out of Girl Meets Boy. It’s a must-read for the JDate Generation, as Tamar Caspi offers a witty, insightful take on all aspects of modern dating
No shtick here, Tamar Caspi shares great advice for current and future JDaters!
Caspi’s guide is equal parts frank and funny and her advice useful to readers of all ages looking for that special fellow member of the tribe.